She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm at about main and main street
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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