Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
