I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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