Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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