problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
