But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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