this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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