GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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