I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
