Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
do nipples grow back?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
