Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
