oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
