i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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