What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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