Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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