Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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