trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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