I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
