He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
God I need to hump something, right now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
