Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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