Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
