I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
