they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
