You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
