Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
