We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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