Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
