Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
