Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
