Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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