Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
