Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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