He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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