we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
