so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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