you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
