Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
