Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
