Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
