thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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