evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
