i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
