Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
