he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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