Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we're making bets on your personal life
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
