Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
