I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
