New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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