ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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