So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
